Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Randomize
