she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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