You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize