Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
nutella sex= disaster
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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