Your dad touched me again.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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