Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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