Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
