I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
