it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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