omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize