is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
