I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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