You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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