He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
