You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
