Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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