me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
