Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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