i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
