Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
