No awkward lesbian experiences without me
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
