I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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