just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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