Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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