Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
