Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
