everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
