Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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