Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
