Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
