Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
