ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize