he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
