How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
