We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
