I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
