I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
