You're so nebulous sometimes
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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