"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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