Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
