Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
