i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
