i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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