We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize