I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
