Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
