You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
