um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
