yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
