yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
