I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
