Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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