you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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