Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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