I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
we should paint friendship bongs
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