it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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