its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
