Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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