You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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