I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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