remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
