I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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